EYE ROLL EARNERS

There are those occasions and those people who earn my patented, exaggerated eye roll. I am annoyed by the situations or the people, and my eye roll just happens. Involuntarily. Sometimes, though, when an annoyance becomes habitual, I have this "thing" I do and say to the person. I reach up and tug down my lower eyelid and say, "Note the concern in my eye?" Ever hear me say that, and you will know I want nothing to do with you anymore. You are done. Gone. Tell it to someone else.

 

I became aware of the fact that I eye roll probably more often than I had realized. We all probably do. What drivers have not rolled their eyes when an idiot cuts in front of them? Okay, there could be a few colorful words muttered and a hand gesture to accompany the eye roll. But, the eye roll is there.

 

Stores are a terrific place to count the number of eye roll times. Topping the count would be those people who ram right into me in their hurry to get to the toilet paper on sale. ::snicker:: They practically knock off my shoulder and say absolutely nothing. No "excuse me." No "I'm sorry." Geez. I am not going to bark anything at them when they do it, because they probably bite. And usually look like rabies shots were not a part of their health care. Oddly enough, the "store cart ankle clippers" almost always apologize for destroying my Achilles' tendons. I like courtesy. Even if I am left temporarily crippled.

 

Sporting events are a real treat. It is a small wonder my eyes have not permanently taken up residence under my upper eyelids. Adults acting like spoiled, undisciplined children. Shouting out the most obnoxious insults to youngsters (ack, don't really old people use the word "youngster"?). Even at the college level, fans need to remember that the players are still teenagers or have only just barely turned 20 or 21. That is young. They also need to remember that most arenas and stadiums adhere to the one-seat-per-person rule. That's right. You have your seat number, and I have mine. Stay OFF my seat. No sprawling your arms and legs into my personal space, either. I have practically raced to sit down on stadium benches after some super athletic or scoring play brought everyone to their feet in order to avoid being shoved six rows down when the stranger to my left decides to park his usually wide load onto MY seat. Even when there are individual, separated seats, it amazes me how people plant their elbows into your ribs or steal your cup holder.

 

Moving on to another eye roller. Ah, I refer to them as the "don't confuse me with facts" folks. Good grief. If it is raining and the evidence is in their drenched clothing and rivulets of raindrops cascading down their faces, do not insist it is NOT raining if I say it is. We are not talking opinion. It is fact. If the facts happen to get in the way of your beliefs, suck it up like a big boy or girl. Just do not do battle with me.

 

Snobs. They are better than everyone else, aren't they? Just ask them. ::grin:: If I do not laugh at them, I eye roll instead. I am never quite sure if their snobbery is masking extreme insecurities or if they truly believe they are superior. Either way, they do need to grasp the concept that there will always be people who are prettier, wealthier, nicer, smarter, funnier, etc., than they are. It does not negate their worth. It simply establishes that they are not perfection personified and had best not expect me to drop to my knees and kiss their feet.

 

There, that is a smattering of eye roll earners. I am certain I could go on and on, but I do not want to dwell on it. I do not even know what exactly prompted me to write about this. I had one of those grand weekends that just felt soooo right. You know what kind I mean. The kind that finds you singing up a storm, feeling all content, walking with an extra bounce in your step...yet there is no one thing you could identify as the reason why you feel that way. You just do.

 

And you love the feeling...

 

Far more than the feeling of eye rolls.

 

"What annoyances are more painful than those of which we cannot complain?" ~Marquis De Custine