ANOTHER CANDLE

 

(Please do not leave any comments here. Thank you.)

CHARMED, I'M SURE

"People will believe you when you point out negative things about yourself, but they will not believe you when you mention your positives."

 

It was several weeks ago that my husband took in my car for an oil change. The following day when I got in and flipped on the music to listen to my CDs, I discovered that he had it set to radio. Because I was trying to navigate the car, I could not fiddle around with the settings to determine how to get it back to CD mode. So, I just decided to listen to the radio for a change.

 

I was not gone long, but just long enough to know that what I heard on that radio station would at some point become a topic in this journal. A fellow was speaking. The statement he made was the quote above.

 

It is true, you know. And because of that, I have thought about that sentence ever since that day. Granted, it is a sweeping statement, but a very valid one that is right on the money as it pertains to the majority of people. Such a simple statement that encompasses so much.

 

How and why do people choose to think you truthful when it comes to your less-than-desirable attributes? Does it make them feel superior for that moment in time? Do they temporarily forget that they have little demons of their own that they continuously battle? Is it because admitting that you have faults allows those you tell to feel important that you confided in them? Does it level the playing field in their eyes? ::Newsflash:: The playing field is never going to be level. It just is not. We are all playing the same game, but the rules for it differ, as do the talents, abilities, and determination of the players.

 

And just why is it that the good things about people are usually punted aside and deemed lies? Tsk, tsk. Not a very admirable trait. Are people so miserable that hearing something good about someone sends them into a tailspin? Do bitterness and jealousy and insecurity dip their ugly faces into the picture? I think so. After all, when somebody strives to get/be/do something and fails and another person tries and succeeds, then the word "loser" pops into the brain of the unsuccessful. No one shouted out LOSER. It was the one who cannot seem to attain that which he wants who calls himself that name.

 

It is truly a sad way to live one's life. Why in the world is it so difficult to be happy for others? Why must all the good spoken be called lies?

 

Let me just put it this way. I have said numerous times in this journal that I have lived and continue to live what I consider to be a charmed life. A fairy tale in a way. And it is the truth. The honest-to-God truth. (See, no lightning has struck me after having said that!) At times, I have even been a little bit embarrassed that my world is full of wonderful people, places, and things. I am loved dearly. That, in itself, is a huge blessing. I have never said that my life has been free of major struggles. But maybe, just maybe, my perception of those struggles is that they have made my life the delicious one that it is right now. My "happily ever after" does not mean there are going to be no worries, crises, or other unpleasantness in my future. It just means that I exist in a real world where I choose to see and revel in the goodness that surrounds me, and I will deal with the worrisome problems as they arise.

 

If you take a moment to think about the popular fairy tales read over and over again to children, you will realize that almost all of them have good characters who go through difficult times. Their lives are imperfect and often in turmoil. You will also note that there are always dark characters in the story...the ones who wish to destroy happiness for the others. But in the end, the light prevails and the dark is left to fend miserably for itself. Looking at it that way sure makes it seem less like a fairy tale and more like how life really is.

 

I am who and how I am. The good and the bad. I have some of both. Most people do. I am aware of the bad, and I discuss it. Yet, there is the positive in me that far outweighs any of the negatives. What I share in this journal and with my friends is honest. There are those who cannot be genuinely happy for the good I either possess or receive. For them, it is much, much easier to twist things to make it seem like a fairy tale gone awry. Ah, but that is untrue. And their skewed beliefs only perpetuate their own misery.

 

I spoke to a friend early in the day. One who has known me for going on three years, I believe. An online friend. One who probably knows more about me than anyone else online. I was talking about the quote at the top of this entry. We chatted a bit about it. I mentioned that at times I am naive, which I thought odd considering I am not naive about human sexuality. This friend said that not only was I naive, but that I was also wise in a lot of ways. An interesting combination, he said. I have to say I was flattered. Being called wise is a compliment, in my opinion. Ah, to be wise all the time and not fall prey to idiocy would be bliss! 

 

When my father was mere months away from death and confined completely to a bed with no ability to lift his head or even move his feet, he was being interviewed. A question was asked about his life. His reply was that he has "lived a charmed life." Sink that into your brain for just a few moments. The man was severely crippled from a ruptured brain aneurysm, had trauma-induced Parkinson's disease from the rupture, was diabetic to some extent, was being fed via a tube in his stomach, fought pneumonia and UTIs regularly, had lost much of his short-term memory, and he was confined to a nursing home and a hospital for just shy of six years. That question was asked, and he smiled and said his life was charmed.

 

Yes, it is all about perception.

THANKSGIVING

Warm wishes for a safe, loving, and joyful Thanksgiving Day.

 

Nikki

ENOUGH

Once upon a time in Hollywood and elsewhere, actors and actresses and politicians were at the mercy of the media. Anything a reporter felt like saying about these celebrities went unchallenged. The stars were told not to acknowledge anything false. The advice they received from their agents and managers and press people was to ignore it. That by denying or clarifying what the media printed it actually gave credence to the gossip. And the famous folks went along with the advice they were given. Tabloids had a field day saying whatever they wanted to say about the "stars du jour."

Ah, but I do believe the very first celebrity to say "ENOUGH" was Carol Burnett. She defied the advice. She followed what she KNEW to be the right course of action. When a rag printed that she had been drunk at some function, she was outraged. Having grown up in a household with an alcoholic family member and working very, very hard to keep her head above water and make a success of herself, she was certainly not about to let anyone smear her good name. And God love her, she fought that tabloid tooth and nail. Taking the media to court? Why, who would have ever had the guts to do THAT? Carol did. She did it beautifully, too. And she won. She won because what was said about her was false. It was a case of someone writing what they PERCEIVED to be the truth. It is common knowledge that slanderous statements are based on thoughts or feelings or perceptions and not on actual facts. Bare facts. Not ones that have been embellished with a little more here and there.

 

Carol's victory paved the way for stars and anyone else in the public eye to take on the media. Many cases were won by those who previously held their tongues and allowed the lowest of the low to besmirch their names.

 

I have always been impressed by Carol Burnett for that reason, as well as her obvious performing talent. It is not always easy to put yourself out there in order to stand up for what you believe to be right. Yet, she did it. With a determination that was made of steel.

 

How does that pertain to those of us who write in public journals? There are some of us who have been bloggers for quite some time. We write about a wide variety of subjects. Maybe about our personal lives. Sometimes about our take on society. Poetry and artwork is often shared. Each person leaves his own fingerprints on his writings.

 

Yet, there are tawdry tabloids that exist online. Their sole purpose is to defecate on people they do not like. They like to "expose" others who use online services to their fabrications and partial truths and anything else to make their targets squirm. I think we have all visited journals/blogs like that a time or two, have we not? Have you ever found yourself to be the topic of any of their journal entries? Have you read things about yourself and found your jaw drop from sheer astonishment? Did you wonder where they came up with the information about you? Did anyone ask YOU if the puke they were going to write about you was factual? Probably not. It does not work that way. Their usual mode of operation is to take a fact here or there, twist and turn it every which way, and add to it until it fits what they PERCEIVE to be fact, and go from there. They are reckless with the facts and guilty of projecting their own insecurities onto others.

 

It is my guess that soon enough there will have to be more online restrictions placed on the writers of all the journals. Slander is something that has to be addressed. It NEEDS to be addressed. Freedom of speech carries with it some responsibility. And when it is abused, it needs stopped.

 

I know too many people who have had to take their journals private, because there were those idiots who just had to cause the writers anguish and/or attempt to make their online lives miserable. How fair is that? Not fair at all. Funny how it seems like the people who have positive entries, entertaining commentaries, and nice displays of writing talent are the ones who often become the targets of malcontents.

 

Yes. Enough is enough. Time to put a stop to it. And there are ways.

 

"Truth is not exciting enough to those who depend on the characters and lives of their neighbors for all their amusement." ~George Bancroft

100 YEARS

Lately, my journaling has taken a back seat to a myriad of activities I have been engaging in. I have a million things to write about, yet nothing to say.

My birthday is Saturday. During the whirlwind of these past weeks, I have found myself thinking a lot about my life. The ups and downs and in-betweens that comprise it. There is little, if anything, I would change about any of it. This "middle time" of my days on earth finds me grateful for all of the small and large events that have occurred and the people who have come into my world. Be they fleeting visits or long-term ones, they are appreciated.

 

I am neither 15 years old nor 100 years old. At times, I rest somewhat uncomfortably right where I am. Other times, I am at great ease in this particular place I find myself. Empowered in many ways, vulnerable in others. Ah, life.

 

The lyrics to the following song sum up very well my conflicting emotions:

 

100 Years by Five For Fighting

I'm 15 for a moment
Caught in between 10 and 20
And I'm just dreaming
Counting the ways to where you are

I'm 22 for a moment
And she feels better than ever
And we're on fire
Making our way back from Mars

15, there's still time for you
Time to buy and time to lose
15, there's never a wish better than this
When you only got 100 years to live

I'm 33 for a moment
Still the man, but you see I'm a they
A kid on the way, babe
A family on my mind

I'm 45 for a moment
The sea is high
And I'm heading into a crisis
Chasing the years of my life

15,  there's still time for you
Time to buy and time to lose yourself
Within a morning star
15, I'm all right with you
15, there's never a wish better than this
When you only got 100 years to live

Half time goes by
Suddenly you’re wise
Another blink of an eye
67 is gone
The sun is getting high
We're moving on...

I'm 99 for a moment
Dying for just another moment
And I'm just dreaming
Counting the ways to where you are

15, there's still time for you
22, I feel her too
33, you’re on your way
Every day's a new day...

15, there's still time for you
Time to buy and time to choose
Hey, 15, there's never a wish better than this
When you only got 100 years to live

 

"A birthday is just the first day of another 365-day journey around the sun. Enjoy the trip." ~Author Unknown

BALANCING ACT

Sometimes I want and need to be reminded that the seemingly impossible is possible.

Thank you to my mysterious and good friend for the permission to post this photograph.

Balanced Rock was exposed more than 60 million years ago when the existing Rocky Mountains rose. To make its current shape, the soft bottom layer of shale eroded much faster than the harder sandstone and conglomerate above. Amazingly, the pedestal supporting Balanced Rock has held the 700 ton weight for thousands of years. (Information from The Garden of The Gods Park plaque.)

 

"Yes, you can be a dreamer and a doer too, if you will remove one word from your vocabulary: impossible." ~Robert Schuller

THE REAL BOTCHED JOKE

''You know, education, if you make the most of it, you study hard, you do your homework and you make an effort to be smart, you can do well. If you don't, you get stuck in Iraq.''
~Senator John Kerry

He called it "a botched joke." Yeah, right. He scrambled, as well he should have to cover that ketchup covered mouth of his. At first he proclaimed that it was merely a jab at President Bush that he had messed up. The written "joke" was apparently quite a lengthy one. I read the entire joke as it was originally written. It was posted in the news. He left out not only one word or two. No, he left out more than an entire sentence. A good bit more.

Now, oddly enough, his claim is he only left out the word "us." Uh huh. The spin doctors (Kerry's aides) have said he was supposed to say, "...you get US stuck in Iraq." How curious that his original claim was that the joke was longer, but he messed it up. And suddenly now it was just a one-word blooper. Pfffft.

Liar.

The troops deserve better than that. Far better. And apparently the group of military men pictured above made sure everyone knew how they felt about Kerry's little joke in what is a brilliant "biting" photograph. Bravo!

The only joke in this particular mess is John Kerry. And not even a funny one.