Thursday, May 24, 2007

MEMORIAL DAY

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"These heroes are dead. They died for liberty-they died for us. They are at rest. They sleep in the land they made free, under the flag they rendered stainless, under the solemn pines, the sad hemlocks, the tearful willows, the embracing vines. They sleep beneath the shadow of the clouds, careless alike of sunshine or storm, each in the windowless palace of rest. Earth may run red with other wars-they are at peace. In the midst of the battles, in the roar of conflicts, they found the serenity of death." ~Unknown

Sunday, May 20, 2007

A WIN OR A LOSS?

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Sometimes it is through losing that we realize we have actually won. Sounds like a contradiction, doesn't it? Well, it goes along with my longtime belief that out of bad comes good.

I have been caught in a bit of a downward spiral situation that managed to steal the essence of me. Swept up in it was my creative muse. Without it, I am hopelessly lost. Good or bad artist, I need to be able to create. Every single day. And I could not. Nothing. My easel was empty. My drafting table bare. No sparkling computer graphics designed. No poems written. I would wring my hands, despairing. The harder I tried to find my creativity, the more it eluded me.
 
That particular situation I was in the midst of has been resolved. I "lost" if it can be called that, since it was not a game to me. But even though there has been an end to it that is not to my liking, I have come away from it feeling more like the victor. Looking at what exists in my world...my REAL world...I am a winner. I am lucky. How could I not feel that way when I am so loved by my husband, children, mother, sisters, brothers-in-law, nieces, nephews, and friends? Reality smacked me upside the head and knocked some good old-fashioned sense into me. Thankfully. Surely there are things I wish were different, but perfection leaves little left to hope for.
 
And then there are the online people who I honestly feel I know as though they were here in my neighborhood. Like they are friends who pop into my home and spend time with me. The impact they have on me is a positive one. The comments written in my previous journal entry show that. The emails I received from some of them touched my heart. I wish I could post them here, but they were sent privately. If they had wanted others to read them, they would have written them in the comments section of the last entry of mine. Suffice it to say, I am so very grateful to all of you for the words of encouragement and advice. You add to my sense of victory.
 
So yes, in my losing, I see how much I have truly won and had already won.
 
On a terribly sad note, I only just last nite learned that one of those online people whose heart was as big as Texas passed away recently. Walt. Bonnie's Walt. The brilliant man with the amazing insights into life and human nature is gone. Gone from here, but thriving in a gentler and more beautiful place. We lost Walt, but we all won from knowing him.  
 
This quotation comes to me via Mary. Thank you, dear friend and sister princess.
 
"When you come to the end of all the light you know and it’s time to step into the darkness of the unknown, faith is knowing that one of two things shall happen. Either you will be given something solid to stand on or you will be taught to fly." ~Edward Teller 
 
 
Run your fingers through my soul~

Wednesday, May 16, 2007

Tuesday, May 8, 2007

Q & A

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For my dear red-sneakered Chuckles, I am responding to some questions he has asked me. It is part of a meme that he has over at his blog. He asked for volunteers, and I was game for it! ::thinking about that:: I must have been experiencing a high fever at the time. ::grin::

Okay, here are his questions, followed by my answers.
 
1.  Your art is therapeutic, expressive, thoughtful, and fun, at turns.  When do you think that you produce your best art?
 
When I least expect it. Yep. I never have any idea what will be decent and what will be filed in my WTF IS THIS folder. I probably do the best when I do not overanalyze the beginning of it. I tend to be a perfectionist and used to trying to be so exact. I am slowly learning to loosen up. Happy, sad, mad, bad moods do not seem to affect the painting in any different ways. I think because the painting process itself is good for my soul.
 
2.  What is your favorite medium for expressing yourself?
 
Eek! Asking me a FAVORITE? I do not think I have one. I like all that I have used; however, there is a freedom I feel when using pastels that I do not get with watercolors and acrylics. Yet, this new abstract series I did was wildly exciting for me, and I used hydrus watercolors to create them.
 
3.  Your dad had a job that kept him on the road for a number of months every year, and featured a number of intensely busy times.  At the same time, he is your, and your sisters', hero.  How did he balancehis work life with his home life?  If he had the same job now, would he be able to be the same father to you?
 
Quite simply, the man never missed a single event the four of us girls had. He was there for our piano recitals, father/daughter functions, school performances, etc. The Sundays when he was home, we went to church, to the bakery, and then he would take the four of us on special outings like miniature golfing or fishing or just rides along the river. We would go out to dinner on Sundays fairly often, too. Nice restaurants. On our birthdays, the birthday girl had a "date with Daddy." Only the two of them. The birthday gal chose whatever restaurant she wanted, and that was where the two went. Oh, how I loved those special dinners. It was grand to be all alone with him. Not having to share him with anyone else. He knew how to let each one of us know how much we mattered to him.
 
If he had the same job now, he would still be able to be the same father to us. He would keep no job that would have disallowed it. We were THAT important to him.
 
Not long before his death, I sat next to him one nite. He was quite ill and was sound asleep. I did not want to leave him. I roamed down the hall to the nurses' station and asked if I could look through his chart. The nurse gave it to me, and I took it back to his room to sift through it. And I read something that I will never forget. It was from a questionnaire that was read to him when he first entered the nursing home, and he supplied the answers. One of the questions asked what he felt was his greatest accomplishment in his life. His answer? His four daughters.
 
My hero, indeed.
 
4.  How did your mother manage not to go insane?
 
Hey, she had four adorable daughters to keep her sane! Wait. That should have pushed her over the edge, huh? Mom is a very strong but gentle woman. She is a lady above all, and she was never one to berate or shout at us. She was easygoing enough to handle the times when Daddy was out of town. She also had a strong network of friends that she is still close to today. She was a member in bridge clubs, charity groups, etc., and I think spending time with her peers was a good outlet for her. She is a wonderful woman.
 
5.  You don't often speak of your husband in your blog.  This leaves us all wanting to know more about him.  Tell us of one annoying but cute habit that he has.
 
The hubby does read all of my blog/journal entries; however, he is not a big fan of the Internet. Chalk it up to the looney tunes he knows thrive in the online environment under the veil of anonymity.
 
He is a good man who has excellent morals and values. Very busily involved in church and choir and a Christian rock group. Which leads up to the annoying but cute habit he has. ::shudder:: He plays a mean guitar. He can and does read music, but he usually picks up the chords just by ear. And when he is learning a song, he will play portions...portions, mind you...over and over until I want to scratch out his eyes. It is like hearing the same drip from a leaky faucet again and again. By the time he has learned the entire song, I hate it from hearing the segments repetitively played. (Well, sometimes.)
 
There, my friend...did I do you proud?
 
If anyone would like to be the subject of my interrogation, please let me know!
 
"Who questions much, shall learn much, and retain much." ~Sir Francis Bacon
 
Run your fingers through my soul~

Monday, April 30, 2007

FUN!

I am having a real blast with my paints! Experimenting with techniques and creating abstracts is new to me, and I am loving it. There is a real sense of excitement I experience when I look at a completed abstract and try to see if I "feel" or "see" something in the painting and then come up with a title that fits.

And, bingo! I did with each of these three. I especially like that none of them look the same.

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(Carnal Cosmos~Watercolor)

 

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(Jellyfish Soiree~Watercolor)

 

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(Filtered Hope~Watercolor)

 
The fun is mine...mine, I tell ya!
 
"I did not think; I experimented." ~Wilhelm Konrad von Roentgen
 
 
Run your fingers through my soul~

Friday, April 27, 2007

A HOME FOR EVERYTHING

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This is a photograph of my daughter's new pet. Do I hear a collective "Awwww, isn't it so adorable" from all of you? Nah, I did not think so. ::grin::
 
Yep, this snake was a birthday gift to my daughter. One of her friends gave it to her. She was elated to receive it. My first reaction was not particularly a joyful one. I had mucho questions to ask before I knew whether or not to be calm or to wring the neck of her friend.
 
Calm won...eventually.
 
Since the death of our poochie near the end of December, my daughter keeps visiting pet stores and The Humane Society. She is on the prowl for a dog. Nuh uh. No way. I am not emotionally ready to replace that little bundle of white fur with another canine. Nor do I want a cat. I have endured a few snit fits from her when I put down my foot and refused to let her bring home any four-legged pet.
 
And it got me a snake in the house. So much for working around Mom's rules.
 
My daughter likes Khleo. He slithers around her wrist, up her back (and mine), and basically just travels and winds itself around anything and everything. She tends to him well making sure his aquarium home is the correct temperature and the water in the bowl is kept clean.
 
I admit I let out a semi-subdued shriek when the daughter told me there was a mouse in my freezer. WHAAAAAAAT? Oh yeah, she said. It is what I am to feed the snake. I told her under no circumstances was I to SEE the mouse. Fortunately, the mice are kept in plastic bags inside of a brown paper bag. All she has to do is heat each bag in warm water before feeding it to Khleo. I refer to them as "boil in a bag" dinners. And I take no part in doing it or observing it. I sure as heck am not going to watch it being devoured.
 
But, this snake adds to my daughter's happiness, and, in turn, that makes me happy.
 
I am a softy. ::sigh::
 
"I've always liked reptiles. I used to see the universe as a mammoth snake, and I used to see all the people and objects, landscapes, as little pictures in the facets of their scales. I think peristaltic motion is the basic life movement." ~Jim Morrison
 
Run your fingers through my soul~

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Thursday, April 19, 2007

BEAUTY AND THE BEAST

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(Acrylics on canvas panel)

A typically busy time of year is the spring, and this year is no exception. I have been lax about posting entries, just as I have been about going on my journal/blog travels to those of you whose words I love reading. Soon, I will go on an around-the-world trip via this computer to visit all of you.

As for this journal o'mine, in recent weeks there have been many times I have wanted to sit down and write and write and write. Much I could say about a number of things, yet I choose not to. Maybe because sometimes saying less is saying more. I do wish our media would at least occasionally adhere to that school of thought. 
 
So, amidst the violent, horrendous, and upsetting occurrences of late, I worked on this painting. 'Tis sometimes my way of escaping the insanity that exists in this world of ours.
 
For the first time, I painted a picture that was based on a poem I wrote. A poem none of you will read. It is private. For me only. Its words define my existence.
 
It was an interesting experiment to see if I could make the two one and the same. I think I did it. I hope I did. I feel I did.
 
And just maybe while you view it, it will make you forget the ugly events for a time.
 
"Life can only be understood backwards, but it must be lived forwards." ~Soren Kierkegaard
 
 
Run your fingers through my soul~