It is these eyes I miss. These eyes never missed a thing. They had a way of looking into people and seeing their soul. They could read almost anyone, and in doing so, they enabled the owner of them to effectively deal with people from all walks of life. These are the eyes I tenderly closed after his final breath was released.
I painted this watercolor portrait of him (although it was his complete face and his upper body) about 1-1/2 years ago. His eyes were the deciding factor in determining whether or not this painting would be kept or tossed. It was imperative to me that I captured them as I remembered them. The smile that lived in his eyes just had to be there.
It turned out to be a keeper.
The painting hangs on the wall just to the left of me here in this study. I look at him often. Sometimes it is just for a moment or two. Other times I stop and stare for long periods of time.
It is impossible to express how much of an impact this man had on me. He is and always will be my hero. Silly, isn't it? But, he knew me so very well. He could pick up on the most subtle of things regarding me. Things everyone else could not see. I often felt he would have been a fabulous psychologist.
Not only could he see people so well, he could see beauty and appreciate it. Late in his life, he took up watercolor painting. ::smile:: He would get after me to take lessons, because he felt I had the potential to succeed. I always told him, "No way. I am not good enough. I have never even taken an art class of any kind." He would shake his head and reiterate his belief in me.
Here is one of the paintings he created. (Poorly photographed by me, unfortunately. Ignore the glare on the left side.) He never much liked it when he gave it to me. It was not until I matted it in pink that he seemed to take a shine to it. He told me it made all the difference in the world when I changed the matting. It is my favorite painting of his, and it hangs in my living room.
Today, I am thinking about him a good deal. There are two public functions honoring him that are taking place in May, and I have read articles about them and had to do a bit of writing for both of them. I feel sure that is why he is taking such a prominent spot in my thoughts.
And I keep seeing that twinkle in his eyes.
"My father gave me the greatest gift anyone could give another person, he believed in me." ~Jim Valvano
7 comments:
Wow doll...hugs upon hugs. What a painful and wonderful entry. And what amazing talent you have! I have a painting that my grandma did...love it. ;) C. http://journals.aol.com/gdireneoe/thedailies
I am in awe of the beauty of this entry...the beauty within YOU.
Nancy
"Not only could he see people so well, he could see beauty and appreciate it."
Obviously you take after your Dad, Nikki.
His maritime picture is lovely. I can see who you take after in that regard as well.
You are certainly fortunate to have had a dad that supported you and encouraged you to do these things. Yes, he certainly sounds incredibly special.
Too bad we can't clone dads to be just like that...
Maryanne
http://insidethegildedcage.blogspot.com/
You definitely have talent. Your portrait is good, his eyes are alive. I love his picture too....art talent does run in families you know....Sandi
As I continue visiting your journal Nikki...I feel I gain insight into yet another part of you when you share such personal thoughts and memories such as those in this entry. Your father was a wise man, who instilled in you the confidence that most can just envy...Upon losing a loved one, I learned that what we have are the memories, and it is up to us and us alone to keep them alive. I am certain he is smiling down upon you as you shed a tear in his absence.
Thank you for touching me in so many ways.
What a magnificant entry...and what a magnificant tribute you are to him!
Peace and hugs! Marc :)
I'm sure he was and is still very very proud of the person you are. They are in our hearts always it is true. But just for that one last chance to hear them and touch them. I don't know why this is the quality some of us have been experiencing, the somber, quietness but it seems that it is the time for it. Maybe it is because at a time of turmoil in the world they are letting us know they love us.
I think I'll hold on to that thought a while.
Robert
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