I THINK WHAT???

                    

Who does my thinking? Am I not responsible for it? Are these thoughts not in MY head? Am I unaware of just what it is that is whirling through my mind? It seems to me I am the only possible person on the face of this earth who knows EXACTLY what my thoughts are or could be. I may not share all of them with others, but then that is my right as I see fit.

I have always paid close attention to my thoughts. Perhaps maybe too much so at times. But in doing so, I have gleaned a lot of insight into why I am the person I am. We are each so very unique, and the reasons for it have just as much to do with the way we think as it does our environmental and genetic factors. Being self-analytical can often result in some stunning revelations. At least it can IF you can try to objectively sort your thoughts. Starting out with preconceived notions and being rigid in adhering to them will render the process of self-analyzation moot.

Recently, I had a staggering explanation for a behavior trait that had perplexed me for a long time. It is not a BAD trait at all, but its existence puzzled me, because it had not always been a part of me. I thought I had it figured out, but it never quite fit right. There were still some gaps in my theory. Then one day I was pondering it yet again, and the proverbial light bulb lit up, and I knew I had found the answer. It was amazing. It was so very simple, yet I had not been able to see it up until that moment. I felt a sense of peace descend upon me. I discussed my newfound knowledge with my husband who immediately saw the perfect sense it made. I told a friend about it, too. Again, there was the nodding of the head and the belief that I had surely found THE answer. What a wonderful feeling it can be to better understand ourselves.

I have a very hard time dealing with those people who try to tell me what I think and feel. Have you ever been around such people? I find them to be among the most annoying people in the world. When they tell ME what I was thinking when I did or said something, I get livid. 99 times out of 100, they could not be further from the truth, but they refuse to believe it. And why is that the case? Because they want to be "right" so it suits their own agendas or beliefs. Well, excuse me, but until they have access to my life, my experiences, AND my brain, they have nothing of importance to say about my thoughts. All they have is speculation, assumptions, and most often a narrow-minded way of thinking.

In this world of AOL, it is quite easy to misinterpret words. With it being such a one-dimensional realm, words take on an incredibly integral part of our interactions. The wrong word choices can cause hurt feelings, misunderstandings, and anger. Mature and intelligent adults will instantly ask for clarification if we have been offended during the course of a conversation. Unfortunately, finding the former and the latter is not always an easy task. Pettiness and stupidity reign supreme far too often online. The foolish will dash off to complain to others about the callousness of so-and-so and embellish the story all due to a misunderstood word, sentence, or phrase. If there is already a dislike for that particular person or if the alleged "insult" strikes a very raw nerve, then bring on the "thinking" for that person. That usually follows suit. It goes something like this: "She said such-and-such to so-and-so, and you just KNOW she is thinking that blah, blah, blah." Lovely, isn't it? It then snowballs, and others join in and suddenly the person in question has been branded a certain way, and his or her every thought and feeling and action has been decided by a group of virtual strangers. Who cares if what they believe is totally WRONG? They will never change their minds. Heaven help me if I get to the point where I feel the need to be as judgmental and nasty as those people. It seems to me that it would benefit them greatly if they looked inside themselves and allowed themselves to honestly and objectively analyze the reasons they do such things. They could be in for a rude awakening as a result of what they find.

I try to understand why people do the things they do. I try to wear their shoes. Surprisingly, I can do that quite easily. Given factual information, I am able to explain the whys of their behavior. Makes sense most of the time. Bitter souls who lash out at others often have unhappy lives stemming from their life occurrences. HOWEVER, that does NOT EXCUSE those behaviors. It simply explains them.

To be expected to look the other way and tolerate behavior that is not my definition of decent or kind is far beyond my limits or my desires. Namecalling of the most vicious kind is something I will never accept. I do not care WHO it is doing it and whatever his or her reason may be. It is inexcusable...unless they suffer from Tourette's Syndrome. And, sorry, but I highly doubt the majority of those who get their jollies from belittling others suffer from a disease such as that. Face it, some people are nasty individuals who have absolutely zero self-esteem, and they try to gain some by pulling others down in order to better their own appearance. Pathetic. Help IS available. But, they will never seek it. Why not? Because they do not view themselves honestly. They justify their own actions and condemn those of others. The cliche, "Misery loves company" did not come about because there was no validity to it.

Online, the best I can do is to avoid being around people whose idea of fun is shredding others and seeing to it that I do not get close enough to others to give them the opportunity to try to do my thinking for me.

"Pick your own brain for once, and dare to see what lurks inside."